They were right that realizations can come to you at any time..
Well, I had one earlier.
You see, I saw one of the politicians that I dealt with when we got the local municipality website creation deal.
And I realized that dealing with these spoiled, over-grown yet distinctive people was what I wanted to do.
Not because I like politicians but because I love the feeling of doing something productive amidst recognized people.
It made me feel special. It made me feel worthy.
It gave me credentials.
It gave me the sense of doing something worthwhile.
And I miss that.
Lately, I have been thinking of giving up my job.
As to the reason, I don’t know which one it is.
There are just too many.
I feel like I am not growing, professionally .
I feel like I am not being productive.
With the local municipality’s website unfinished, I don’t have that feeling of accomplishment.
I feel depreciated.
I feel devalued.
Of course, these are just some of the feelings that I have been going through lately but there is another reason why I want to give up.
I don’t feel happy anymore.
Writing has and will always be one of my greatest passions.
Even if I am not the best writer or the most-effective.
Even if I am not the most entertaining.
My only release is through writing, or so I thought.
Nowadays, I cannot find solace in writing anymore.
It doesn’t please me as it used to.
It doesn’t give me that sense of satisfaction.
Instead, I feel as if there is a foul taste in my mouth every single time I force myself to write.
The thing is.. I don’t want to lose my love for writing.
And I do not want to spread myself too thinly.
But to tell the truth, I have no idea what I am going to do.